In the world of dating and relationships, people are expected to become concerned with the needs, thoughts and feelings of others. It's almost a cardinal sin, if we focuses too much on ourselves and give too little thought to the people closest to our heart.
But, just for conversation sake, what if a woman gives too much thought to the person in her relationship? What if her every waking moment revolves around the happiness and interaction she has with her boyfriend? What does society think of her then?
Well, in short, she is called "Needy". She is classified as someone that demands an uncomfortable amount of attention from the man in her relationship. Tonight's relationship insight is for that woman.
So if your someone that's ever been called, "Too Needy" and want to know why... this is for you.
But, just for conversation sake, what if a woman gives too much thought to the person in her relationship? What if her every waking moment revolves around the happiness and interaction she has with her boyfriend? What does society think of her then?
Well, in short, she is called "Needy". She is classified as someone that demands an uncomfortable amount of attention from the man in her relationship. Tonight's relationship insight is for that woman.
So if your someone that's ever been called, "Too Needy" and want to know why... this is for you.
Below, you will notice I've listed a series of questions. These questions are based on actions I've seen in women and have also personally heard coming from their lips. The following explanations attributed to each question contain the stress many men including myself have felt from these demands.
Being "Needy" is not a defect in your personality, it's just how you are designed.
But today there is hope, Let's Begin...
Being "Needy" is not a defect in your personality, it's just how you are designed.
But today there is hope, Let's Begin...
#1 Do You Need Constant Reassurance To Know You're Loved?
Are you someone that needs to hear the words "I Love You" or "I'm Thinking About You", at least 3 times a day? Do you feel "Unloved" if he's not holding your hand while driving?
One of the things, you'll need to understand about some men in relationships is that their affection may not always be expressed in speech, but more-so in action. The action may simply be that he's cooked you dinner, or he's just sitting quietly with you watching House Wives Of Atlanta. He cares about you by being there and you have to believe that he feels an emotional connection with you. If you're pressuring him too much about not saying he loves you or that he's thinking about you every 5 minutes...You could potentially stress or ruin the entire relationship. |
#2 Does Your Boyfriend Call You Needy?
No one calls anyone "Needy" just because it's something to say. People call people needy when they feel that the demands being asked of them are too unrealistic. They feel as if what they are doing isn't living up to your expectations. They may even begin to wonder if you've been spoiled your whole life and have an entitled sense of self.
Have you ever been in a relationship with a man who |
made you feel that no matter what you did it wasn't enough? Like, even though you had sex(when you didn't want to) and played his stupid Xbox all night he still wanted more from you? Do you remember what that frustration felt like? That's needy.
And yes, men can be needy too..lol It's not just the ladies ^_^
And yes, men can be needy too..lol It's not just the ladies ^_^
#3 Do You Need To Know Where Babe Is At All The Time?
"Where are you, I've been calling all day"
"Just make sure you call me, if you and your friends decide to go somewhere else" Are you guilty of any of those little sayings up there? One of the things that can become cloudy in a relationship is people remembering that their partner's have lives outside of the relationship. The need to know where someone is every minute of the day can be exhausting, just like it was when you were a kid at home. Remember when mom would ask you to call and tell her whose car you were riding in and what store you were going to? Yeah, uttlerly painful. Don't be that girlfriend. |
Now, some guys do love the fact that you want them to check in every five minutes like they were 12, but most don't. I'm pretty sure when you want to spend some time with the girls and hit the town, you don't want your man calling every 15 minutes talking about, "What you doing".
You'd probably be thinking "Get the ^uck outta here dude" lol. Just know you're boyfriend might be thinking the same thing.
You'd probably be thinking "Get the ^uck outta here dude" lol. Just know you're boyfriend might be thinking the same thing.
#4 Do You Show Up To His House Unannounced?
"Hey Babe, I got off early, so I figured I'd just come by since I knew you had the day off"
Wait, What!? You knew I was off so you just come by unannounced and now I'm supposed to do what? Drop everything? Now that reaction is not something anyone wants experience from a thoughtful act, but it has been known to happen. Especially, if someone has a tendency to repeatedly "pop up" unexpectedly, after being asked several times to call before coming over. I know you want to see him and it's been almost 6 hours since you've seen him last, but give him a minute to breath. Don't you have those days where you just want to lay around in your pjs without having to see anyone? |
#5 Do You're Emotions Revolve Around How He Feels?
"Steve's having a bad day, so I don't think I'm going to go to the movies tonight, ladies"
What the heck does Steve's bad day have to do with you going to the movies? If you want to go to the movies, then go, let "Stevie" work through his own struggles sometimes. It's noted that you want to be there and support him, but you do need to live. If how you feel and what you do is entirely based on what he's feeling, you're setting yourself up for a bad case of codependence. Carrying on in relationship like this for too long can cause psychological damage in the long run and it's one of the quickest ways to lose yourself. One's emotional center should not be governed by another person. It's just not healthy. |
So Are You "Too Needy"?
Now I could keep going on and on with examples of being "Needy" and I will but not in this one insight, I'll do it in this week's newsletter. The main reason I wrote this is to help you gain some clarity on the things you could be doing now that can cause your boyfriend to think you're needy.
I myself have been in several relationships where I felt that someone was being "Too Needy" and I'll tell you that they didn't last very long. They didn't last because I felt that what they wanted from me was more than I was willing to provide. Maybe later, I would have, but the stress in the relationship prevented me from even sticking around to see just how passionate the relationship could have been.
I don't want that for you. I want you to be able to express all the love and concern you have for your boyfriend without ruining a good thing. So if you've been called "Needy", this is what you're doing and how it can affect your relationships.
Thanks for reading
-Jamaal(LoverOfLife)
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I myself have been in several relationships where I felt that someone was being "Too Needy" and I'll tell you that they didn't last very long. They didn't last because I felt that what they wanted from me was more than I was willing to provide. Maybe later, I would have, but the stress in the relationship prevented me from even sticking around to see just how passionate the relationship could have been.
I don't want that for you. I want you to be able to express all the love and concern you have for your boyfriend without ruining a good thing. So if you've been called "Needy", this is what you're doing and how it can affect your relationships.
Thanks for reading
-Jamaal(LoverOfLife)
If you enjoyed this week's relationship insight, sign up for the BYT Newsletter and receive the rest of the discussion. In signing up for the newsletter, you will also receive additional relationship tips and advice not posted anywhere on the site. This information is reserved for BYT readers who are serious about improving the quality of their relationships.