If you're reading this, there's a good chance some of the conversations I've listed below will sound familiar.
When you're reading through these examples, I want you to realize that this is to help you to see you're relationship from another perspective. A perspective that's trying to help you find the discontent within an unhealthy relationship that can suck the life right out of you. If you're ready, let's begin...
When you're reading through these examples, I want you to realize that this is to help you to see you're relationship from another perspective. A perspective that's trying to help you find the discontent within an unhealthy relationship that can suck the life right out of you. If you're ready, let's begin...
Do You Apologize Just To End The Argument?
Him- "Why the hell did you leave the freezer open? Now everything's melted, you're always messing up!"
You- "I'm sorry, I'll try to remember next time."
Apologizing just to make him happy or avoid an argument not only adds to the stress within your life, but it can critically impair your level of self-esteem. If you find yourself apologizing just to avoid expressing your feelings...Why even stay in the relationship?
You- "I'm sorry, I'll try to remember next time."
Apologizing just to make him happy or avoid an argument not only adds to the stress within your life, but it can critically impair your level of self-esteem. If you find yourself apologizing just to avoid expressing your feelings...Why even stay in the relationship?
Do You Have Sex When You Don't Want To?
Him- "Look, I know it's late and you gotta work, but I got needs too you know"
You- "I've got to be up early and I need my rest"
Him- "Well, if you don't do it, someone else will"
You- "Fine Babe, I'll do it tonight but you'll have to be quick"
Being the object of sexual excitement is great when both people want it, but never when it's coming from one person. If you're boyfriend can't respect your wishes and tries to threaten you with cheating..Is this someone you really need in your life?
You- "I've got to be up early and I need my rest"
Him- "Well, if you don't do it, someone else will"
You- "Fine Babe, I'll do it tonight but you'll have to be quick"
Being the object of sexual excitement is great when both people want it, but never when it's coming from one person. If you're boyfriend can't respect your wishes and tries to threaten you with cheating..Is this someone you really need in your life?
Do You Laugh At Your Boyfriend's Insults?
Him- "Babe, you're starting to look a little round these days. You remind me of one of those teletubbies."
You- "Babe, you're silly, I don't look like no teletubbie I'm just pleasantly plumb."
Him- "Well, you might want to hit the gym because I can't be dating no whale."
You- "You know you love my waves."
People don't get into relationships to be made fun of or joked about their shortcomings. People get in relationships to be uplifted and accepted throughout all their struggles and achievements.
Conversations like this will take a toll on your confidence and self-esteem in the long run.
You- "Babe, you're silly, I don't look like no teletubbie I'm just pleasantly plumb."
Him- "Well, you might want to hit the gym because I can't be dating no whale."
You- "You know you love my waves."
People don't get into relationships to be made fun of or joked about their shortcomings. People get in relationships to be uplifted and accepted throughout all their struggles and achievements.
Conversations like this will take a toll on your confidence and self-esteem in the long run.
Do You Make Excuses For Your Boyfriend's Cheating?
Him- "Yeah, I slept with her because you don't do nothing freaky that I like"
You- "Well, you never told me that you liked it like that"
Him- "I told you plenty of times but you don't listen!"
You- "I'm sorry, I'll try to be more open-minded"
There's never a legitimate reason to justify someone's cheating and trying to make sense of it is just senseless. You're worth more than that. Don't sell yourself short.
You- "Well, you never told me that you liked it like that"
Him- "I told you plenty of times but you don't listen!"
You- "I'm sorry, I'll try to be more open-minded"
There's never a legitimate reason to justify someone's cheating and trying to make sense of it is just senseless. You're worth more than that. Don't sell yourself short.
Do You Think That Being Hit By Your Boyfriend Is A Sign Of Love?
Him- "I wouldn't have hit you, if you just did what I told you to do!"
You- *cries*
Your Best Friend- "Girl, what happened to your eye? Did that asshole hit you?"
You- "He was just upset because I didn't cook dinner last night."
Your Best Friend- "Oh Hell Naw Girl, he can't be doing that!"
You- "It's okay, because at least now I know he loves me as much as I love him."
Seriously? Now you know better than that. Love hurts, but it doesn't leave your face black and blue. A man hitting you is never a sign of his affection, it's a sign of his aggression. If this sounds like you, get out of their A.S.A.P!
You- *cries*
Your Best Friend- "Girl, what happened to your eye? Did that asshole hit you?"
You- "He was just upset because I didn't cook dinner last night."
Your Best Friend- "Oh Hell Naw Girl, he can't be doing that!"
You- "It's okay, because at least now I know he loves me as much as I love him."
Seriously? Now you know better than that. Love hurts, but it doesn't leave your face black and blue. A man hitting you is never a sign of his affection, it's a sign of his aggression. If this sounds like you, get out of their A.S.A.P!
Do You Always Put Your Boyfriend's Feelings Before Your Own?
Him- "I'm not even trying to go to see your family right now, you need to tell them we aren't going."
You- "But it's my brother's birthday, he's been through a lot this year"
Him- "Well, you can go by yourself, but I'm not going"
You- "Hello Mom, we're not coming to the party."
Mom- "Why not, you're brother was looking forward to seeing you"
You- "I'm a little tired and we're just going to stay in."
There will be moments in you're relationship when you want to do things that you're boyfriend doesn't and compromise is what relationships are about. So if your always yielding to his call, how can this be good for you or your relationships with others?
You- "But it's my brother's birthday, he's been through a lot this year"
Him- "Well, you can go by yourself, but I'm not going"
You- "Hello Mom, we're not coming to the party."
Mom- "Why not, you're brother was looking forward to seeing you"
You- "I'm a little tired and we're just going to stay in."
There will be moments in you're relationship when you want to do things that you're boyfriend doesn't and compromise is what relationships are about. So if your always yielding to his call, how can this be good for you or your relationships with others?
Do You Lie About Your Feelings So Your Boyfriend Won't Leave?
"Him- "Now you've been walking around with this attitude all week, what's the problem?"
You- "It's nothing"
Him- "It's nothing my ass, you got something you want to say. Go ahead and say it"
You- It's nothing, I was trippin, but I'm straight now"
Him- "Good, now go cook us some of your famous spaghetti"
You- "Okay babe, Love you"
Depression can arise from many things in our lives. You're relationship shouldn't be one of those "things".
You- "It's nothing"
Him- "It's nothing my ass, you got something you want to say. Go ahead and say it"
You- It's nothing, I was trippin, but I'm straight now"
Him- "Good, now go cook us some of your famous spaghetti"
You- "Okay babe, Love you"
Depression can arise from many things in our lives. You're relationship shouldn't be one of those "things".
Do You Allow Your Boyfriend To Make Decisions For You?
Him- "Why the hell you going back to school?"
You- "I've always wanted to be a nurse and I think I can finally do it this time"
Him- "You don't need to be a nurse because I'm the only person you need to take care of"
You- "You're cute and all, but I need to do this"
Him- "No you don't and you're not"
You- "So you're saying you don't want me to go back to school?"
Him- "No, I'm telling you that you're not going back if you want me in your life".
You- "Damn, why you so mean, I won't go then"
Him- "Hey Babe, I love you"
You- "Love you too, even though you piss me off sometimes"
It doesn't matter how long or how little you've been in a relationship with someone. You have goals and dreams that you need to pursue to make your unique mark in this life. It's never okay to allow someone else to stop you from reaching your full potential.
You- "I've always wanted to be a nurse and I think I can finally do it this time"
Him- "You don't need to be a nurse because I'm the only person you need to take care of"
You- "You're cute and all, but I need to do this"
Him- "No you don't and you're not"
You- "So you're saying you don't want me to go back to school?"
Him- "No, I'm telling you that you're not going back if you want me in your life".
You- "Damn, why you so mean, I won't go then"
Him- "Hey Babe, I love you"
You- "Love you too, even though you piss me off sometimes"
It doesn't matter how long or how little you've been in a relationship with someone. You have goals and dreams that you need to pursue to make your unique mark in this life. It's never okay to allow someone else to stop you from reaching your full potential.
Do You Lie To Yourself About The Relationship You're In?
Your Best Friend- "So how are things with you an Ol Boy?"
You- "Girl, we good."
Your Best Friend- "You sure because I don't even see you anymore"
You- "Girl, he just super protective and don't like me leaving the house"
Your Best Friend- "You don't need no man telling you what to do"
You- "He got a good heart though and he's really smart. Sometimes, I feel like he knows what I want before I do".
Your Best Friend- "You trippin"
You- "Naw girl, I'm good, I love him and he say he's going to marry me when he finally get that divorce."
The woman wearing rose-colored glasses is best left in fairy tales because it's never beautiful in real life. Stop trying to make your relationship into something that it isn't and start looking at it for what it is.
You- "Girl, we good."
Your Best Friend- "You sure because I don't even see you anymore"
You- "Girl, he just super protective and don't like me leaving the house"
Your Best Friend- "You don't need no man telling you what to do"
You- "He got a good heart though and he's really smart. Sometimes, I feel like he knows what I want before I do".
Your Best Friend- "You trippin"
You- "Naw girl, I'm good, I love him and he say he's going to marry me when he finally get that divorce."
The woman wearing rose-colored glasses is best left in fairy tales because it's never beautiful in real life. Stop trying to make your relationship into something that it isn't and start looking at it for what it is.
Are You A Doormat?
So did any of those conversations sound familiar to you? I'm sure by now, you have a pretty good idea of whether you're a doormat or not, but rest assured that there is hope for you yet.
If you want to get to out from under your boyfriend's foot and reclaim your identity or self-esteem, let's talk about it. Send me a message and I'll help you get back up on your feet.
Stay Drama Free
-Jamaal(LoverOfLife)
If you would like to read more insights like this let me know in the comments below. Also, if you haven't yet signed up for the BYT Newsletter do it now so that you can get every new article in your inbox with additional relationship tips and information.
If you want to get to out from under your boyfriend's foot and reclaim your identity or self-esteem, let's talk about it. Send me a message and I'll help you get back up on your feet.
Stay Drama Free
-Jamaal(LoverOfLife)
If you would like to read more insights like this let me know in the comments below. Also, if you haven't yet signed up for the BYT Newsletter do it now so that you can get every new article in your inbox with additional relationship tips and information.