For some, building trust in a relationship can seem like an impossible task to achieve. The reason for this is because it's easy to overlook the little things we do in our daily interactions with others to maintain a relationship.
Think about all the things you do for the people you care about. If they ask you to come pick them up in the middle of the night, you pick them up without question. If they are down on their luck, you help them out. If they are self-conscious about their weight, you say something nice to boost their spirits.
Now whether you know it or not, you're building trust without the slightest notion of the one thing your doing that makes all the difference. Today, I'm going to tell you exactly what you're doing and then I'm going to tell you how to use it to strengthen the trust in your current relationship with Mr or Mrs. Right.
Think about all the things you do for the people you care about. If they ask you to come pick them up in the middle of the night, you pick them up without question. If they are down on their luck, you help them out. If they are self-conscious about their weight, you say something nice to boost their spirits.
Now whether you know it or not, you're building trust without the slightest notion of the one thing your doing that makes all the difference. Today, I'm going to tell you exactly what you're doing and then I'm going to tell you how to use it to strengthen the trust in your current relationship with Mr or Mrs. Right.
Are You Ready To Know What This "One Thing" Is?
Okay, I'll tell you. What you are doing is being consistent in your actions.
When you are consistent in what you say and do, you're boyfriend or girlfriend can begin to depend or expect a certain response from you based on their actions. For example, if they call and you come or if they fall and you're always there to pick them up, it becomes expected in the relationship.
People feel safe when they are certain and the more certain someone feels, the more likely they are to trust a situation and/or person. Do you see where I'm going with this? Look back into your own life experiences and see if a series of repeated interactions have reinforced your feelings about a particular person or situation.
Have you ever said anything like this?
"Every time he comes to visit me he brings flowers" or "He always calls me before he goes to bed"
Now what happens the moment he doesn't call before going to bed? You think, something is wrong! Am I right? The fact that he stopped being consistent caused you to doubt and feel uncertain about your situation or standing in the relationship, if only for a fleeting moment.
Maybe now you can see where folks end up with trust issues, after consistently having negative experiences with certain people and/or situations.
When you are consistent in what you say and do, you're boyfriend or girlfriend can begin to depend or expect a certain response from you based on their actions. For example, if they call and you come or if they fall and you're always there to pick them up, it becomes expected in the relationship.
People feel safe when they are certain and the more certain someone feels, the more likely they are to trust a situation and/or person. Do you see where I'm going with this? Look back into your own life experiences and see if a series of repeated interactions have reinforced your feelings about a particular person or situation.
Have you ever said anything like this?
"Every time he comes to visit me he brings flowers" or "He always calls me before he goes to bed"
Now what happens the moment he doesn't call before going to bed? You think, something is wrong! Am I right? The fact that he stopped being consistent caused you to doubt and feel uncertain about your situation or standing in the relationship, if only for a fleeting moment.
Maybe now you can see where folks end up with trust issues, after consistently having negative experiences with certain people and/or situations.
So How Can This Help You Build Trust In Your Current Relationship?
By reinforcing the importance of being consistent in everything you say and do. I'm not asking you to be a cyborg, but you don't want to be a flake either.
When building trust in a relationship through a series of consistent actions, you strengthen rapport. The stronger the rapport, the warmer the feeling and the warmer the feeling..the better it is for the health and longevity of your relationship.
I can tell you that I personally trust people to be themselves and it's all based entirely on what they show me in their actions. If they show me that they are someone that is consistently late and forgetful, I don't bother telling them anything important or count on them to be there.
If they continually disappoint me, you can be sure the rapport is fragile if even existent.
So now what I would recommend for you, if you are serious about building trust in your relationship is to be more consistent. This means if you start out the relationship taking the extra time to cook a special meal..continue to take that time. If you started out the relationship listening to her talk about her problems all night long..continue to listen for the duration. And so on and so forth..
The moment you change up the consistency, doubt arises and the quality of trust in your relationship is in question.
When building trust in a relationship through a series of consistent actions, you strengthen rapport. The stronger the rapport, the warmer the feeling and the warmer the feeling..the better it is for the health and longevity of your relationship.
I can tell you that I personally trust people to be themselves and it's all based entirely on what they show me in their actions. If they show me that they are someone that is consistently late and forgetful, I don't bother telling them anything important or count on them to be there.
If they continually disappoint me, you can be sure the rapport is fragile if even existent.
So now what I would recommend for you, if you are serious about building trust in your relationship is to be more consistent. This means if you start out the relationship taking the extra time to cook a special meal..continue to take that time. If you started out the relationship listening to her talk about her problems all night long..continue to listen for the duration. And so on and so forth..
The moment you change up the consistency, doubt arises and the quality of trust in your relationship is in question.
A Quick Recap Of What You Just Learned...
- Trust is sense of certainty that builds up over time through a series of repeated actions/consequences with a person, place or thing.
- A series of consistent negative actions can produce emotional scars that can cause people to have "trust issues".
- Being consistent with your actions and words can make someone feel certain in their relationship. The more certain(secure) they feel about you or the relationship, the stronger the rapport. The warmer the rapport the healthier the relationship.
If you feel that this Relationship Insight has given you a new outlook on how to build trust, I'd love to hear about it in the comments. Also, if you know someone that can benefit from reading this, please share.
Thanks For Reading
-Jamaal(LoverOfLife)
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Related Article: Trust Is The Glue Of Healthy Relationships
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