One of the most emotionally trying times that you will experience throughout your dating years will be a Breakup. This is something that is unavoidable and for some it is an undeniable force that pins them to the ground for weeks or even months a time.
But...as one grows and begins to roll with the punches, we can look back on breakups and pull out a lot of insight that can improve the quality of future relationships.
This is the reason that when we jump into the dating pool, we must first realize two things...
But...as one grows and begins to roll with the punches, we can look back on breakups and pull out a lot of insight that can improve the quality of future relationships.
This is the reason that when we jump into the dating pool, we must first realize two things...
Number 1 - Experiencing A Breakup Is Inevitable
As I said up above, if you're dating, at some point you will experience a breakup.
Now this may seem like the end of the world when it happens, especially if you've put in years or just had a deep connection, but it's perfectly natural. This is the reason there are millions and billions of people in the world for us all to mix and mingle with until we find a match.
But not just any match, it's got to be one strong enough to withstand the tests of time. The person you choose must be able to handle you at your best and not jump ship when you're at your worst.
Now I've bailed out a few times when waters got too murky and choppy for my taste, but "Hey, this is the game we all sign up for when we jump into the fray". You win some and you lose some. But if it doesn't kill you, you will live to fight another day.
So the next time things don't work out with you and who you thought was "Mr. Right", just remember that everything you've learned during that time about your likes and dislikes will prepare you for the next Bigger and Better fish in the sea.
Now this may seem like the end of the world when it happens, especially if you've put in years or just had a deep connection, but it's perfectly natural. This is the reason there are millions and billions of people in the world for us all to mix and mingle with until we find a match.
But not just any match, it's got to be one strong enough to withstand the tests of time. The person you choose must be able to handle you at your best and not jump ship when you're at your worst.
Now I've bailed out a few times when waters got too murky and choppy for my taste, but "Hey, this is the game we all sign up for when we jump into the fray". You win some and you lose some. But if it doesn't kill you, you will live to fight another day.
So the next time things don't work out with you and who you thought was "Mr. Right", just remember that everything you've learned during that time about your likes and dislikes will prepare you for the next Bigger and Better fish in the sea.
Number 2 - In The Pain, There Is A Silver Lining
You had some good times and you may have even learned a few new tricks that you can share with some lucky soul down the road. But isn't this all apart of the big picture?
When you finally make it to the Big Relationship that's going to completely Rock Your World, you want to be well-versed in love and understanding. You need to know what pain and hurt feels like so that you'll know how to bounce back when it happens for real.
Even in the best of relationships, you will be hurt. You will cry and you may even say, "Why do I even try?" It's just the facts..you will be tested.
Now aren't you glad you went through all that in the breakups you had before you met this strikingly gorgeous individual you now have in your life? And another perk of having past breakups is that now when something hits you like a Mack Truck, you're already adept at handling such intense emotions.
Nothing's too out of the ordinary or shocking to your system that you're out of commission for weeks at a time and miss important things like work or your child's first day in school.
We learn so much about ourselves and other people when we truly connect with someone. All those stupid things we would never try in a million years all get done in one wild weekend..lol You know what I'm talking about.
All those, "I'll never do this" and "I'll never try that", when in all actuality it was just that the right person never asked or gave you the inspiration to try.
Plus we can't forget about all the clarity that we gained from trying to make things work with someone else.
You know when you're single, little things like compromising and consistency aren't as important as they are as when your in a full fledged relationship with another person.
In a relationship, you learn the importance of being accountable for your actions and you also discover what it means to hold someone else accountable for theirs.
The amount of personal insight and real world experience you gain from being in a relationship through both the good and bad times is irreplaceable. You could never learn it all in a book or by watching someone's else's life. You must experience it for yourself so that you grow.
And in your growth, you will find that you are even more resilient than you thought you could ever be.
When you finally make it to the Big Relationship that's going to completely Rock Your World, you want to be well-versed in love and understanding. You need to know what pain and hurt feels like so that you'll know how to bounce back when it happens for real.
Even in the best of relationships, you will be hurt. You will cry and you may even say, "Why do I even try?" It's just the facts..you will be tested.
Now aren't you glad you went through all that in the breakups you had before you met this strikingly gorgeous individual you now have in your life? And another perk of having past breakups is that now when something hits you like a Mack Truck, you're already adept at handling such intense emotions.
Nothing's too out of the ordinary or shocking to your system that you're out of commission for weeks at a time and miss important things like work or your child's first day in school.
We learn so much about ourselves and other people when we truly connect with someone. All those stupid things we would never try in a million years all get done in one wild weekend..lol You know what I'm talking about.
All those, "I'll never do this" and "I'll never try that", when in all actuality it was just that the right person never asked or gave you the inspiration to try.
Plus we can't forget about all the clarity that we gained from trying to make things work with someone else.
You know when you're single, little things like compromising and consistency aren't as important as they are as when your in a full fledged relationship with another person.
In a relationship, you learn the importance of being accountable for your actions and you also discover what it means to hold someone else accountable for theirs.
The amount of personal insight and real world experience you gain from being in a relationship through both the good and bad times is irreplaceable. You could never learn it all in a book or by watching someone's else's life. You must experience it for yourself so that you grow.
And in your growth, you will find that you are even more resilient than you thought you could ever be.
What Do You Think?
Looking back at the heartache you've experienced in past breakups...Would you have been anywhere near as prepared to handle all the good and bad that came in your next relationship?
And if you're breakup is more recent, did you not learn a little more about what you truly want in a relationship that was lacking in this last one?
Share your thoughts in the comments below. And as always...
Stay Drama Free
-Jamaal(LoverOfLife)
And if you're breakup is more recent, did you not learn a little more about what you truly want in a relationship that was lacking in this last one?
Share your thoughts in the comments below. And as always...
Stay Drama Free
-Jamaal(LoverOfLife)
RSS Feed
