If you've spent anytime in a stressful relationship, you would know that the idea of leaving is often at the forefront of your mind. You fantasize about just dropping your boyfriend or girlfriend like a hot biscuit and heading for greener pastures. This is perfectly fine and if you're going to go then go, but don't threaten to leave.
When you threaten to leave a relationship, you are opening up a can of worms that has a high potential for blowing up in your face. Today, I'm going to tell you why threatening to leave a relationship damages rapport with your partner and can ultimately leave you single and alone.
When you threaten to leave a relationship, you are opening up a can of worms that has a high potential for blowing up in your face. Today, I'm going to tell you why threatening to leave a relationship damages rapport with your partner and can ultimately leave you single and alone.
Reason 1- Threatening To Leave Forces Someone To Make A Decision
Now this might sound like the ideal change you were looking for, but it doesn't always mean things will change for the better.
When you threaten to leave someone you are putting them on the defensive and you know what people do when their back's up against the wall don't you? They lash out! And for some folks, they lash out with a vengeance that can make you wish you just left rather than attempting a power move.
Forcing someone to make a hard decision is a form of control that not only weakens the trust in your relationship, but can make someone whose not as invested in you to pack their shit and leave.
Think about it, could you see a long term future with someone that forced you to do something that you didn't agree with? Would you want to spend years on someone that you know will leave the moment you don't do as they wish?
As a rule of thumb, if you want true and healthy change in your relationship, talking and compromising is always the best policy. Unless, you don't care if the relationship ends and in that case, don't waste time. Just leave and save yourself the headache.
When you threaten to leave someone you are putting them on the defensive and you know what people do when their back's up against the wall don't you? They lash out! And for some folks, they lash out with a vengeance that can make you wish you just left rather than attempting a power move.
Forcing someone to make a hard decision is a form of control that not only weakens the trust in your relationship, but can make someone whose not as invested in you to pack their shit and leave.
Think about it, could you see a long term future with someone that forced you to do something that you didn't agree with? Would you want to spend years on someone that you know will leave the moment you don't do as they wish?
As a rule of thumb, if you want true and healthy change in your relationship, talking and compromising is always the best policy. Unless, you don't care if the relationship ends and in that case, don't waste time. Just leave and save yourself the headache.
Reason 2 - Threatening To Leave Can Cause A Ripple Effect
Remember how up above, I was just talking about vengeance? Yeah, things can get pretty ugly when someone knows that they have you in the palm of their hand.
Think about it, you just let this person know that if they don't do "A" you're going to do "B". You basically just gave them an ultimatum and who likes those?
Now, what someone might do who was manipulative, is seemingly appear to change at first to regain your trust. They put on the bells and whistles and "appear to be" the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend and convince you that your relationship is the best it's ever been. Just before, they pull the knife and rip your freakin heart out!
This isn't always the case, but it's something that's done all the time. Especially when it's evident that someone is just making "idle threats" that they never...ever follow through on.
Think about it, you just let this person know that if they don't do "A" you're going to do "B". You basically just gave them an ultimatum and who likes those?
Now, what someone might do who was manipulative, is seemingly appear to change at first to regain your trust. They put on the bells and whistles and "appear to be" the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend and convince you that your relationship is the best it's ever been. Just before, they pull the knife and rip your freakin heart out!
This isn't always the case, but it's something that's done all the time. Especially when it's evident that someone is just making "idle threats" that they never...ever follow through on.
Reason 3 - If You Don't Follow Through You Lose All Respect
Follow through is essential for doing most things "right" in life. You wouldn't take a shower halfway-through would you? You wouldn't just get in the shower, lather up and step out without rinsing off would you?
Hopefully not, but this is also the same reason that if you threaten to leave a relationship, you need to follow through. You don't want to look foolish and be standing there with dry soap on your skin.
If you've told Babe that you're going to leave, unless he stops cheating on you and you don't. What do you thinks going to happen? He's going to keep cheating.
If you told you're girlfriend that "she needs to quit drinking" or you're going to leave and you continue to pick her drunk ass off the floor every Saturday. What do you thinks going to happen? She's going to keep drinking.
See, here's the thing with making threats in a relationship. If you were going to leave you would have left already. If it was something So Profound and Unbearable that you just can't see past it, who in there right mind would still be sticking around in the relationship? I know I wouldn't, so why would you?
So with that said, rather than making "threats" in a relationship, do yourself and your partner a favor and just leave. Your only other option is to sit down and talk things through and hopefully reach a compromise within your relationship.
Hopefully not, but this is also the same reason that if you threaten to leave a relationship, you need to follow through. You don't want to look foolish and be standing there with dry soap on your skin.
If you've told Babe that you're going to leave, unless he stops cheating on you and you don't. What do you thinks going to happen? He's going to keep cheating.
If you told you're girlfriend that "she needs to quit drinking" or you're going to leave and you continue to pick her drunk ass off the floor every Saturday. What do you thinks going to happen? She's going to keep drinking.
See, here's the thing with making threats in a relationship. If you were going to leave you would have left already. If it was something So Profound and Unbearable that you just can't see past it, who in there right mind would still be sticking around in the relationship? I know I wouldn't, so why would you?
So with that said, rather than making "threats" in a relationship, do yourself and your partner a favor and just leave. Your only other option is to sit down and talk things through and hopefully reach a compromise within your relationship.
So What's Been You're Experience?
I appreciate you taking the time to read these words, but I want to know where you sit on the matter? What are your thoughts about people "threatening to leave" in relationships? Does it work? Or does it just drag out the inevitable?
Leave your answer in the comment box below, thanks for reading ^_^
Rise Above The Drama
-Jamaal(LoverOfLife)
Leave your answer in the comment box below, thanks for reading ^_^
Rise Above The Drama
-Jamaal(LoverOfLife)
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