The past is the past and it should never be used as a weapon, especially if you plan on having an open and honest relationship. If you treat someone differently because they share a dark past, you can bet they won't be telling you too much more any time soon. On the other hand, it is nice to know a few things about someone's past, but you don't need to know every little detail. Why you ask? Well, take a look and see....
As you and your babe grow closer in a relationship, you will find that there are things you like about your their past and things you don't like. It's easy to handle the things you like because that's probably why you're with them in the first place, but it's the things you don't like that can cause friction.
So what do you do when you come across the things you don't like? Well the way I see it, you have one of two choices, you can either accept it or not accept it. By accepting it, you move on and promote the health of your relationship, but by hanging onto it you can literally kill all that you know love about your relationship.
So what do you do when you come across the things you don't like? Well the way I see it, you have one of two choices, you can either accept it or not accept it. By accepting it, you move on and promote the health of your relationship, but by hanging onto it you can literally kill all that you know love about your relationship.
What kind of people did you date before me?
Now do we even really need to go into this one..lol I'm sure a lot you have asked this very question. So my question to you is what does it matter? Will knowing make that much of a difference?
You've got to look at it from this angle. There are reasons people are in the past and you're in their future. If you knew that he or she dated some smokin hot beauty would that make you feel any better or worse about your babe?
All you need to know is that you are with them now and if it wasn't for their "ex" you wouldn't even be in the picture. Let the past be the past and live in the present. Besides, I'm sure you've got some skeletons in your closet, but there's a reason they aren't there now right?
Focus on what's happening now and don't try to compare your relationship with their last one. If either one of you wanted your ex then that's where they or you would be right? Let the past be ....
You've got to look at it from this angle. There are reasons people are in the past and you're in their future. If you knew that he or she dated some smokin hot beauty would that make you feel any better or worse about your babe?
All you need to know is that you are with them now and if it wasn't for their "ex" you wouldn't even be in the picture. Let the past be the past and live in the present. Besides, I'm sure you've got some skeletons in your closet, but there's a reason they aren't there now right?
Focus on what's happening now and don't try to compare your relationship with their last one. If either one of you wanted your ex then that's where they or you would be right? Let the past be ....
How did you make all your money?
It's good to know how someone supported themselves, but do we really need every little detail? What if they told you that they used to strip to support themselves? How would you feel about them then? Would you look at them differently? Think less of them?
What if it were you that pan-handled for 6 months because you just couldn't pay the bills? Do you really want that thrown in your face every time you get ready to make a big purchase? People go through all types of phases in life and you are just a part of this one.
If all goes well, hopefully you'll be in the next phase, but if not then that's what is meant to be. As long as someone was able to take care of business, preferably by legal means, then what does it matter... now?
Focus on them meeting their own needs today, in a way that you both agree, if not, then you've got other issues to resolve in the now.
What if it were you that pan-handled for 6 months because you just couldn't pay the bills? Do you really want that thrown in your face every time you get ready to make a big purchase? People go through all types of phases in life and you are just a part of this one.
If all goes well, hopefully you'll be in the next phase, but if not then that's what is meant to be. As long as someone was able to take care of business, preferably by legal means, then what does it matter... now?
Focus on them meeting their own needs today, in a way that you both agree, if not, then you've got other issues to resolve in the now.
You converted? From what?
Oh, this is a sticky one! Religion is never a soft shoe, no matter how tiny the foot. Just look at the news, countries are going to war over their spiritual beliefs. Do you really want that going on in your relationship?
So what if your babe used to be a Buddhist, Atheist or even a Warlock, are they in your same faith now? If they are then pick up and keep it moving, if not then you can choose to deal or not.
I think sometimes people get into this "I got to work it out" mode and can't see that swinging door behind them. If you start a relationship you can end it just as easily as it started. You're not stuck. You are not a victim, take control of what happens in your life.
Now on the other side of the coin, some faiths and practices are almost impossible to overlook, but that's for you two kids to decide.
So what if your babe used to be a Buddhist, Atheist or even a Warlock, are they in your same faith now? If they are then pick up and keep it moving, if not then you can choose to deal or not.
I think sometimes people get into this "I got to work it out" mode and can't see that swinging door behind them. If you start a relationship you can end it just as easily as it started. You're not stuck. You are not a victim, take control of what happens in your life.
Now on the other side of the coin, some faiths and practices are almost impossible to overlook, but that's for you two kids to decide.
As I said there are many things...
About someone's past that you can either like or dislike, but the past will not save your future. It may shape it, but it also shaped you didn't it? Don't look at someone's past as a cliff, look at it as a path, a journey that has put them into your life now. This man or woman may not be the last stop in your journey and who knows they just may be a part of your future past.
Live for today and be happy in love, life and excitement!
-Jamaal(LoverOfLife)
Live for today and be happy in love, life and excitement!
-Jamaal(LoverOfLife)
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